Fractured Attention

The most productive time of my day seems to be when I’m sitting quietly. Very still. Feeling the air passing through my nostrils. Noticing the expansion of my belly as my lungs fill. My breath brushing my forearms gently as I exhale. Lately, it seems to be harder to find my focus, to get my attention back to my breath. My attention fractured by a scatter shot of thoughts that my mind starts blasting the instant I wake up.

On most days, I am very disciplined about not checking my phone before I sit to meditate and pray. Both to prepare myself to engage with the world and prevent myself from getting sucked into my thinking mind. The past few months it doesn’t seem to make much difference. Extra time seems to be needed to process the daily news along with my reactions to events, causing thoughts to roll over into the next day. As if the more I dwell on the state of the nation, the better chance I have of understanding and controlling what is happening. How do I stop the collapse that is happening all around us?

I return to my breath. Breathing in the goodness of Life. My body extracting the oxygen it needs without conscious effort. Exhaling, I let go of what no longer serves my highest good. Giving carbon dioxide to the green ones, who in exchange give oxygen back to me. And I give gratitude for being in the reciprocity of Life.